My life in the past year has taken some turns I never quite imagined. I saw a quote this morning from Marianne WIlliamson that said, “Some things need to be let go before other things can be let in.” and it was a perfectly simple way to describe this year. In the coming months I hope to write more about this year. I will and it has been a long time since I posted last because I just haven’t found the time and the words haven’t come to me desperate enough to be spoken. But this morning I thought I’d post a Lipedema update. I’ve started writing about my journey
What prompting this morning’s post is that I just bought my first 2 pairs of full length – toe to waist compression stockings. I know I feel better and sleep better, even, if I’m wearing my knee-high athletic compression socks but my legs were beginning to show signs that screamed to me, “Molly, quit with the denial. You have IT – it’s there – you can’t pretend it’s not there. Just order the compression. It’ll help.” For those of you who don’t know, compression stockings are almost imperative for someone with Lipedema. And believe it or not, any exercise without them can be detrimental to your legs. We have a fat disease and exercise can make it worse – how’s that for a catch 22?
I pulled this screenshot from the Cure Lipedema site to describe why:
I also helped my husband move a large chest freezer the other day – the weight was fine, I could carry it but my hands were too small to grip properly and often it had to rest on my legs as I walked. I’ve always considered myself very capable (yes, I CAN carry hay bales, sacks of feed or coolers of meat) but the reality hit me when I saw the heavy bruising on my thighs that showed up just hours later and as I type gets darker and darker. I’ve always bruised easily and Lipedema is the culprit.
So what am I doing about it. Well, as I posted in one of my blogs, I started a digestive enzyme therapy many many months ago. For reasons I won’t go into now I stopped that therapy many months ago. I was sad because I had lost weight/water weight/edema and digestively felt great. I know it was working. The encouraging news is that I am just starting it up again. I’m also even more conscious about the foods I eat and have been guzzling kombucha to pull the toxins out of my body (toxins get really cozy in fat – which then slows down the system more) and to put healthy bacteria in my gut and address systemic candida. I’m also using essential oils and herbs and trying hard to remember to breathe, smile and practice gratitude to keep stress at a minimum.
There are many layers to what’s going on with my body right now: at the core it is digestive — too many years of inflammation (caused by processed foods, inflammatory foods – wheat, sugar, pasteurized dairy) with the digestive troubles, along with hormonal shifts and stress, it triggered my Lipedema and about the same time my hypothyroid, adrenal fatigue, and systemic candida all showed their lovely faces. It is all connected. So it needs to be addressed at the core not just the symptoms. It’s not easy. And some days it sucks. Some days I’m still in denial even when my legs ache, my thyroid burns, and my fatigue is high. But each day is a new day and I can make a choice either direction. Ultimately in order to heal 100% I’ll have to make some very hard decisions. I’m not sure I’m 100% ready. It takes a lot of time, energy, focus, and discipline. Some days I’ve got it. And that’s all I can worry about – doing the best that I can each day with no judgement on myself and no comparison to the next day.